Pushing Up

“Go under.” He said. And I did. So far under that my toes touched the bottom and so far under that my ears began to pop from pressure. “Stay.” He said. And I did. Long enough to catch teh dancing colors and long enough for my fingers to join in with the water’s rhythm. “Now, push up.” He said. And I did. Long enough to hear God say, “That’s what My love is like.”

Back in my younger days I looked forward to when the stalls were all mucked and the wood was all stacked; when the chores were done and my presence wouldn’t be missed. For when those moments came, I could escape into that love without doubting for a moment it was real.

I remember jumping off the back porch and running to the river, leaving anything that was not sacred behind. I would climb the trees as high as I was able and God would say, “That’s what My love like.” I would cross the river sketching the view in my mind and God would say, “That’s what My love is like.” I would dive into the water carefully missing the memorized placement of rocks and God would say, “That’s what My love is like.”

You see, all of my life the Lord has taught me about who He is and how He loves. And yet at 23, in the bottom of a pool, He is still teaching me what being His beloved is really all about.
That’s what His love is like. Like being surrounded by something strong and yet loose enough to move in. Like being told to hold your breath until your body can no longer stand it and then, “pushing up.” That feeling? Yea, that’s what His love is like. Like breathing air for the first time. Like escaping what is unholy and running to the Holy of Holies and diving in.

I don’t know about you, but I need that love.
I was created to receive that love. And so were you.

No matter the circumstance. No matter the heart. No matter the body. When God says, “Go under.” You go under. Allow that pressure to fill you until you think you can no longer take it. Then push up, and receive.

I have been in many waters but none more sacred and just than His.

When others choose not to love, God always does.
Constant. That’s what His love is like.

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