Cat’s cradle. Remember those days of the string criss crossing between your fingers? I do. The wonder that back then something as simple as string could capture my childhood heart! But then again, I was easy to capture. I was a compliant kid. A dreamer. And though unsteadiness was a part of growing up, not much made me restless. The restless strung out things seemed normal and my little being didn’t question them.
But it is not the restlessness of those days that my soul wanders through today. Rather, it is that child who was so easy to capture even through the restless parts of life. That child who knelt in the hay fields stretching her hands up towards the sky just because she could. That child who didn’t spend much time wrestling with fears or doubts. That child who didn’t question because there didn’t seem to be the need to question. That child who dreamed. Where did thatchild go?
The string spreads in and out so fast that it is often difficult to go back there. Back to that child who said, “Oh, there’s a God who made me and loves me? Okay. I believe in Him.” Back to that child who said, “Oh, and that God knows me and holds me? Okay. I’ll let Him.”
How does that happen? How does a trusting child age so quickly into a mistrusting adult that really is still just a kid? Just a little being trying to seek a big God.
Jesus says, “Become like a child.” and then He says, “Let the little children come to Me.”
Matthew 18:1-4 “At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, ‘Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’ And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, ‘Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”
Matthew 19:13-14 “Then children were brought to him that they might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, but Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven’.”
Like the disciples in Matthew, I too am a rebuker.
A rebuker to and of myself.
For I am to be mature. Sophisticated. Level headed.
That’s what the world says anyway. We are told to grow up. To become adults and act like one. And so I remind myself I am to carry this being as one. But today, I don’t want to put on that title. I want to become a child again. And not just just any child, but that child who says, “Oh, I am pursued by a God who deeply wants me? Okay. I believe.” That child who says, “Oh, and that God can use me despite how little I think I am? Okay. I’ll let Him.”
Friends, could it be we spend too much time rebuking ourselves? Telling ourselves that we have be one way when Jesus calls us to be another. I think we get too wrapped up in the restlessness of being an adult rather than hearing Jesus when He says, “Come, be My child and rest.”
I don’t know about you, but I long to be so captured by Him that the kid in me wants nothing more than to sit at His feet. That the kid in me wants nothing more than to have Him lay His hands on me.
Not the big me, the little me. The one who sat in the corner holding out her hands. The one who sat in the corner playing Cat’s Cradle until she fell asleep.
To become a child again. That is my prayer as He prays over me.