My life has become new. Not that it was old, but rather that it was in need of an upgrade. In need of being undone and redone. In need of new and indeed, I have received! Over the past month I have turned twenty-four, graduated university, got hired as a Kids & Creative Arts Pastor, and over the past three weeks have begun to paint a house, a house soon to become my home.
Those words have yet to root well, but resonate rich because I have so hungered for a home. But even more than a hunger for a home, I hunger deeper for a holy home. For a place that is safe and real. For a bed where rest is met. For a table where communion is held. For a study where my soul is fed. For a place to be still in. That is what I hunger.
We live in such a loud and fast world. In a world where we are so quickly running that little time is left for walking. I spent my internship months hungering for stillness. How could it be found? Where could it be found? When could it be found? And I found each time I sought after it, interruption would come and I would be caught up in the running once again. And I would ask myself, how can one walk when they can barely keep up with life while running? I don’t know. But if the past week has taught me anything about myself, it’s this: I don’t want to spend my days running so fast that I forget (or leave little time) to walk with the Lord. Because when I do that, patience is thin and grace is not given. Communion is lost and my soul is not fed. And when my soul is not fed, I do not live holy.
But I hunger for holy.
This newness of life is indeed rich. It’s like watching a house transform into a home. Wall by wall, colors are repainted and pictures are hung. Furniture begins to fill empty spaces and broken tiles are repaired. Work is undone and redone until finally, welcome home meets you at the door. That is God. And because that is God, stability no longer has to be unknown and love no longer has to be feared. Because God is God, all the scary and unknown parts of life can be left on the old roads because God is greater and mightier and stronger and has new roads. I don’t know about you, but that is freeing. That is new life. That is grace. And who wouldn’t want all of that?
I have a holy hunger, not because I’m simply hungry for new, but because God is holy and we are called to be holy and He makes things (us!) new. How different and rich and new would our lives become if we met Him at the table in which He has called us? I think we would not only become hungrier, but become more full.